A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
"Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".
I remember a man stopping me in Oxford Street
once, looking at me with absolute incredulity; he
couldn’t believe it. He said, ‘Tom Baker?’ A man in
his late thirties. I said, ‘Yes’. He said, ‘Tom Baker?’ I
said, ‘Yes!’ And he looked at me and in his brain he
catapulted back in time and he said, ‘You know, when I
was a boy, I was in a home for children; nobody wanted
us, you know? It was terrible. And you made Saturday
night good.’ And I went to say something to him and I
could see him so close to tears that he couldn’t speak.
And he shook his head as if to say, ‘Don’t go on, don’t
remind me’ and he just did [a thumbs up]. Such a
common thing, isn’t it, but suddenly backed up with
an expression on his face through his tears that was
a knighthood. It was a knighthood. Just thumbs up,
meaning it was great, and thanks. It’s incredible, isn’t
it? Just a gesture.
so today I was in history class, we’re studying WW2 … look at that picture in the book
(“american soldiers and french women. end of august 1944.”)
Look at that american soldier… reminds you of anyone ?
OH MY GOD,
Captain Jack Harkness is REAL. there’s a proof in my history book !!
i bet he banged the enemy.
just to avoid accidentally using offensive language i’m going to start using 90s surfer dude slang because inadvertently offending someone is totally bogus dude
people might not want to be called dude
you are radically right and that is so not tubular my friend i apologise
I find your poor grammar and spelling to be offensive to my eyes.
watch me catch this gnarly wave of i don’t care